Happy New Year or whatever

Happy New Year??  Let’s See:

  • Awake on the New Year’s Eve waiting for a colleague to send me the document which I had to work on and send to my boss by 1st morning so that they can prepare an estimate and send it to the client before 2nd.
  • Finally get the document on 1st afternoon and spend the afternoon working on it.
  • Got my thumb stuck below a 2 inch concrete slab on the 2nd morning.
  • Woke up 3rd morning at 4 am to catch a 6:45am flight
  • Got ready in half an hr and waited an hr till 5:30am for a cab which was supposed to come at 4:45am
  • Reached airport just a couple of minutes after check-in counter closed
  • Pleaded with the ground staff to check me in and finally got her to check me in
  • Had a flight waiting just for me for 2 minutes
  • Spent half an hour waiting for a pre-paid taxi
  • Came to office to see that they had not started on preparing the estimate based on the document which they wanted on Saturday.

Yeah … Happy New Year it is

Head-Hunters

For slightly more than an year hence, I am having my profile active on the job sites in the hope of getting some lead in my hunt for a better job. So do a few (???) of my batchmates. May be passing out at the peak of recession has something to do with it. So coming back to the post, I have had a lot of mails bombarding me on a daily and weekly basis. Of course, with so many recruitment agencies mushrooming across the country, owing to the fact that it is one of the businesses which guarantees an exception RoI, this was to be expected. But is it of any use??? Well, the fact that I am still in the same job tells something about the effectiveness of this process.

It is not that there are no jobs being offered. I have been and am being offered a variety of jobs. Just that none of them matches the profile.

It initially started with “High paying” BPO jobs and tele-sales job. The mail also goes on to mention that the education requirement for the job is “graduate/any graduate”. Also goes on to tell that the high paying BPO job pays you 1.2 – 1.6 lakhs per annum

And then we have the training institute offering me training in anything and everything. Yes training in Business Analysis I can understand, I am working as a business analyst, but training in SAP??, training in Excel (??). Weird, really weird.

It is not just this, I also had the happiest moment in my life when I was shortlisted for the position of an AC Technician. Yeah… I am not an electrical/electronics engineer, never worked in anything related to AC, let alone to be an AC Technician.

But all happiness has to come to an end and it came to an end when a friend of mine received a mail from some recruiting company telling that one of their clients wants drivers for their car!!! Now why did they use an online job portal, I don’t know. But biggest mystery is how did they infer that we need an MBA degree to be a car driver?? I know it is tough to believe it. I didn’t believe it too, until he showed me the mail. Yeah dude, we passed out in 2009, but driver!!!!

Most of these websites concentrate more on the quantity of the jobs being offered and less on the quality of it. They are more happy in showing that your profile was viewed by x number of candidates. But how many of them are actually matching the profile which a person has? I have observed this more in the mails sent by recruitment agents. The HR or recruitment manager of a company will be more careful in doing an analysis of the person and matching the requirements and the skills. Sometimes I wonder whether the agents actually read at least the headline of the profile to whom they are sending the mails. Oh I know, they don’t… Otherwise they would not have sent mails to be a driver and AC Technician.

What next??? Sweeper??? Or Watchman???

PS: To clarify, I do not have any ill-will or one-upmanship against the jobs I have mentioned in the post. I do know that these people are the ones who make our life a lot more comfortable. All my grouses are against these head-hunters (what an apt name) / placement agencies mushrooming all across the country, who do not even do a matching of the profile before contacting the person.

Arbit – 1

Things u need to make a mega serials( in short saas-bahu type)
– A “highly gifted” script writer. Not easy to find one, but they say that if you find someone who thinks he can write and get him high, he can become a “extremely gifted” script writer
– A protagonist, better if it is a female one cause all u want to do is give all the trouble in the world to her, and a female protagonist shedding the glycerinated tears in the story is more suitable to earn the viewership of your target segment-the female of the house and thus makes sure that u earn back the money u spent on bottles of glycerin
– A vamp. It is better if this is also a female, but now a days they are trying out by having some male vamps also (vampires??)
– A big family, where no one knows how they are connected to the other, but make sure that everybody knows that they are in some business, though no one knows what business they are in.
– Try and put in dialogues talking of deals amounting to some 300 crores – 500 crores every 5 minutes though none of the actors/actresses talking the dialogue will know how many zeroes are there in that much of amount
– Something happening to the protagonists other half (not sure that they are better), so that more bottles of glycerin can be used. Then she finding another “other-half” and so on and so forth.