New Beginning

Hola readers..

Howdy all of u. Looks like it is a loooong time since i last posted anything on this site of mine. And I did not put myself into exile or something, just that I did not find time, nor was in a mood to write anything.

Well, after a forced trip to Amman and bidding a good riddance to my previous job, I am hoping that I might be in a better mood to write something more from here on.

So, what was I upto? As mentioned, I was forced to go to Amman … to the client location to ‘manage’ the client, for 3 months. Yes, that is actually the notice period in my previous company. Well it does hope of becoming a leading software company in its domain. And I do wish it all the best, but the way it treats its employees do put the seed of doubt in me as to whether it will actually go on to be one. Well, if I do actually go on a cribbing spree regarding them, I think it will go into multiple posts. So, I am happy that they did relieve me, forget the money which they have still not transferred.

I should be thankful to my present manager that he actually decided to wait for me for 3 months. And yes, it does put a bit of pressure on me to perform right away. Just hope I can thrive on this pressure ( Damn … think too much of Football Manager game is influencing my sentences).

And yes, I have moved back to my homeland. That is the biggest relief for me 🙂

Hoping the changes in job and the location can put some creative juices back in me.

Feel too rusty to write much. But with my cute little niece coming over this weekend, hopefully she will provide me some fodder for articles 🙂



For slightly more than an year hence, I am having my profile active on the job sites in the hope of getting some lead in my hunt for a better job. So do a few (???) of my batchmates. May be passing out at the peak of recession has something to do with it. So coming back to the post, I have had a lot of mails bombarding me on a daily and weekly basis. Of course, with so many recruitment agencies mushrooming across the country, owing to the fact that it is one of the businesses which guarantees an exception RoI, this was to be expected. But is it of any use??? Well, the fact that I am still in the same job tells something about the effectiveness of this process.

It is not that there are no jobs being offered. I have been and am being offered a variety of jobs. Just that none of them matches the profile.

It initially started with “High paying” BPO jobs and tele-sales job. The mail also goes on to mention that the education requirement for the job is “graduate/any graduate”. Also goes on to tell that the high paying BPO job pays you 1.2 – 1.6 lakhs per annum

And then we have the training institute offering me training in anything and everything. Yes training in Business Analysis I can understand, I am working as a business analyst, but training in SAP??, training in Excel (??). Weird, really weird.

It is not just this, I also had the happiest moment in my life when I was shortlisted for the position of an AC Technician. Yeah… I am not an electrical/electronics engineer, never worked in anything related to AC, let alone to be an AC Technician.

But all happiness has to come to an end and it came to an end when a friend of mine received a mail from some recruiting company telling that one of their clients wants drivers for their car!!! Now why did they use an online job portal, I don’t know. But biggest mystery is how did they infer that we need an MBA degree to be a car driver?? I know it is tough to believe it. I didn’t believe it too, until he showed me the mail. Yeah dude, we passed out in 2009, but driver!!!!

Most of these websites concentrate more on the quantity of the jobs being offered and less on the quality of it. They are more happy in showing that your profile was viewed by x number of candidates. But how many of them are actually matching the profile which a person has? I have observed this more in the mails sent by recruitment agents. The HR or recruitment manager of a company will be more careful in doing an analysis of the person and matching the requirements and the skills. Sometimes I wonder whether the agents actually read at least the headline of the profile to whom they are sending the mails. Oh I know, they don’t… Otherwise they would not have sent mails to be a driver and AC Technician.

What next??? Sweeper??? Or Watchman???

PS: To clarify, I do not have any ill-will or one-upmanship against the jobs I have mentioned in the post. I do know that these people are the ones who make our life a lot more comfortable. All my grouses are against these head-hunters (what an apt name) / placement agencies mushrooming all across the country, who do not even do a matching of the profile before contacting the person.

Five year status report

Finally after a 3 month hiatus, I am back on this page. Well my life has been such a crap nowadays that I do not even feel like doing anything worth while.

Now that the placement season has started for the juniors back at joka, I was reminded of the standard question which most of us would have faced in any interview. It could be either framed as “What are your long-term/ short term objectives?” or as “Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?”

This just got me thinking. Now that it is more than 5 years since I started my first job, I thought how about having a look back and seeing what I have achieved in the last 5 years to the date.

5 years before Now
Was a fresh Software Engineer who had passed out of college the previous year Am a fresh MBA Graduate who has passed out of college the previous year
Was working in a well known IT company Am working in a little known IT company
Was testing a software application Am still testing a software application
Was paid peanuts for what I was doing Am paid peanuts for what I am doing
Was frustrated with my life Am frustrated with my life
Had put in my papers with a job in hand Thinking of putting in my papers even without a job in hand
Had plans of going for further studies Thinking of taking certification, but intimidated by the cost and doubting the usefulness of the same

Well, at the first look, it looks like I haven’t achieved anything. But as far as I see it, my life has moved a full circle. In the intervening 5 years, my life has moved from the abyss I was in, in an upward spiral at my new job and culminating in getting into one of the leading B-schools in India and then moving in a downward spiral, culminating in me passing out of the institute in the peak of the worst recession after the great depression and getting stuck in this place with no exit path in view apart from the above said one.

I do know there has to be another cycle starting somewhere (unless this continues as a further downward spiral till 2012 and the world actually ends taking me with it). But I just could not see the goddamn exit out of this present cycle to start the upward spiral of the next one. I have been looking out for that for a long time and apart from a couple of mirages there is nothing my tiring eyes can find in the horizon.

A mess called my life

Well that is what it is. My life has been really in a mess ever since the Americans dumped the entire world into what they call as recession. But it has started reaching new lows in the recent weeks. Initially I thought that it was tracking the sensex (the BSE Index). But unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be, coz when the market improved yesterday, my life has continued its downward spiral.

My work… I know I have cribbed a lot to all the people I can over chats, phone or face to face too. But still I continue. I feel I am just a tester in this organization, whose work is to work on the demos, test whether it is working, give demos and get blasted by the boss during all these activities. And blasting includes all the profanities which will put even those ppl who had gone through hostel life to shame.

Well imagine being in a 8 hour demo through telecon and webex for a client in middle east and your boss coming and blasting u every half an hour. Most of the stuffs which we get to hear cannot be even pasted over here. So you are there for 8 hours missing your lunch and all you get to hear is profanities from your boss, even though the client is happy. And then he realizes we haven’t eaten, gets us 4 biscuits each and a tea and blasts us more.

And then the next day have to work for 15 hours … doing what??? Testing some damn demo. It is more like I have moved from being a developer to a tester after 2 years of MBA. For ppl who have seen a sad bollywood movie called Sunday, my position is similar to the protagonist there. Only thing is I am missing 2 years of my life, only reminded of it because of the EMI of the loan which I have to pay back for the 2 lost years of my life. And all these because some damn idiots thought of making quick money in a far off land by selling loans to people who did not deserve it.

Nowadays I am thinking if I have lost these 2 years may be I should do another 1 year MBA from a foreign university, just so that these people can recognize that I am an MBA grad. But then again, I would be reminded of the difficulty in getting into the institute with the resume I have and the cost which I have to bear. Especially since I have not yet paid back the cost of my 2 lost years

Now add to this mix the housing dilemma. Initially there were 4 of us who were staying in the house. We did not pay the advance for the house, but we were paying the rent and the expenses in the house. Now 2 of the 4 have left and it is just the 2 of us remaining. These people have collected the rent for the 6 months which we were supposed to be living in that place when they left earlier. So we are paying what is our share. Now the company wants to use this place as a guest house. Initially it was a new guy from Bangalore who was staying with us for a month till he searched a place for himself. And now it is an intern from New Jersey who they want to put in with us. And we have to keep on adjusting with these people coming in every month. So my roommate has decided to move out and now is asking me as to what I would do. So, apart from all these job related frustrations which I have to manage now I have to find ways to arrange for the advance to pay for another acco and manage with the increased rent.

A typical case of FML 😦

Void life()

Long time since i updated my blog. Well here i am back to updating it at 3 am in the night. Looks like my brain works a lot better in the night or i am becoming an insomniac that i cannot sleep in the night and that is when all these thoughts come in my head.

So coming to the topic of thoughts in the head, I was thinking on the lines of the void written by Gomzi here. And that was when i realized that even i was suffering from the same problem. And it is just that i have no one close enough who can understand what it is. Well, my parents are a different generation in themselves and i wouldn’t expect them to understand it and of the rest of the people in my generation that i know of, half of them wouldn’t know that I exist, rest don’t care. OK, I am not telling that i don’t have friends. But i am talking of those stuffs which u wouldn’t want to talk to all the friends, but to someone who you treat as close. And the only difference from Gomzie will be in the fact that I had a couple of friends like that, with whom i could just sit and talk and would get the therapeutic treatment. It is just that they are married now and I do not want to burden my problems on them.

And yes, i do have a certain someone with whom i believe that i might be able to open my soul out. But again it depends on whether the recipient is ready or not 😦


As I had said in some previous post of mine, I have a subject called Management of Self in Organization. As a part of the curriculum we are supposed to write an autobiography. So, I was actually thinking about my life till now (yeah as many ppl here say, I am too old to be here coz I am 26) and the stuffs which had happened. I was actually amazed to see that it was more like a cycle of events in my life just keeps happening again and again. This got me thinking about it. This led to me raising a few questions about these stuffs.

1. Why is it that I usually am hesitant in opening my mouth??

2. Why is it that even when I know I am right I don’t want to get into an argument?

3. Why is it that I am always thinking of not hurting others, even if it hurts me?

4. Why is it that even after taking all the precautions not to hurt others there are people who think that I hurt them?

5. Why is it that I suddenly run out of ideas for conversation when actually all I want is to spend some time talking to someone?

6. Why is it that I am not good in at least something?

7. Why is it that I end up on the losing side in most of the situations in my life?

8. Why is it that every night I think of new and amazing ways of popping up the all important question, think and find faults in it and finally convince myself that it is never gonna happen, only to start of all afresh the next day and repeat the same?

9. Why is it that I so much wanna help someone when I know it is all of no use and will be washed down the drain?

PS: Why is it that all these stuffs strike to me and make me write something usually at 4:30 am when I haven’t slept the entire day and have a class at 8:30 am?

PPS: Why am i posting a set of questions on my 50th post?

Utter nonsense

Yeah thats what it is … What is happening around and this post … and i think this blog too. So, we have a group of militants or terrorists or whoever they are happily going around bombing everywhere in our country and all our honorable (sic) home minister has to say is ” A few cowards are trying to test our patience etc etc etc”. Watching it on CNN-IBN, i had a de javu. Hadn’t this same guy told the same things around a month ago ??? Is it a repeat telecast ??? Well I come back to my room, log on to net (wonder when i log off anyways) and see that it is not just me who felt the same way. And it was not a repeat telecast… Now, how much low can this person go?? And then what does he say ??? “We are just coming back to life after an attack and these ppl do it again“. Hello Mr Home Minister are u pleading with them to give you some time???

Well thats one thing. And then there was this party organized to welcome the steppers into the campus. Thank God, i skipped it and watched a good movie instead. Reports from the party wouldn’t make a nice reading anyways…so chuck it.

Regarding the movie, a beatiful wonderful movie called “A Wednesday”. Just watch it if u haven’t . It is really amazing and having watched it on the same day of the wonderful wonderful statement of our home minister, I somehow feel that is the only way to go. I don’t want to give out a lot on the movie over here… but all i could say is that it has come out at the right time.

And regarding myself, well have been in a really bad mood nowadays.. Don’t know the reason, (OK I won’t tell the reason) but feel really miserable. Yeah this is the 5th term when i should enjoy, but i am actually pissed off with what a few ppl around here consider me to be. Just hope I get a really good chance to prove these #@@$#@$ wrong.

OK coming back from that rant, been in a really bad mood nowadays. And it is not that i have nothing to do. I have a project with the Initiative for Community Actions club of which i am a part and we haven’t yet started on it. Then I have this really awesome course called Management of Self in Organizations. One of the evaluative parameter for the course is that we have to write our autobiography. Awesome way to evaluate people. And I was planning that I will start writing from the first day that I get this course.

Next we have a student body called ISG, which takes care of our extranet and the details of the courseweb where we get the course materials and other things which are uploaded by the profs etc. The ISG started a new initiative called as the ISG_Academic Committee and I am a part of it. We are a group of 5 people who handle around 5 subjects each and takes responsibility of updating the students on the stuffs which happened in each class and also any pre-readings or activities which need to be done before the next class or any submissions to be done on the day of the class. This is one activity which we are really excited in and hopefully we could maintain this level of excitement, so that it could continue through to the next batch and so on. Having said all these, I really think that the present ISG head has to choose a capable enough successor, who has the same level of enthu that he has.

And as usual, we have the students council. Yes, we are excited about our roles over here too and we need to give something back to the institution. We need to make a change which can have a lasting impact on the campus and possible help the batches to come. We are working on that right now and we have a really short duration as our term comes to an end by november end or december. We need to really get this thing done.

But yeah, even though i am in all these things, I am yet to get off from my foul mood. Today, it has been a bit better, coz i did go around and spoke to someone who could lighten my mood, even though could speak only for a couple of minutes as this person as usual has to rush out. And yeah, could catch up with a friend in some other insti too… All these talking did lighten my mood… but still…..

PS: Yeah now i really feel this post is an utter nonsense…. and so is this blog.