Funny one

This is some funny article which i found on the net, while browsing. I think many guys will be in one or the other of these situation. So do read and enjoy and comment on this 🙂

I am a nice guy. Or so my female friends tell me. I’m a nice, helpful,
generally likeable guy. So nice in fact that once a year, during that
wonderful festival called Raksha Bandhan when we Indians celebrate that
bond between a brother and sister, you will find me hiding under a table,
or if that’s not safe enough, under a chair, whimpering in fear, and
blithering like an idiot. (A lot of people feel that is exactly what I am,
but let’s not get into that now.)

A close friend of mine once said to me (and this was a girl who I had been
contemplating proposing marriage to), “I wish I had a younger brother like
you.” I mean, how is a man supposed to react to a statement like that? I
think women use such statements to see how men respond to situations of
extreme stress. It’s probably some kind of experiment in psychology. And we
men go along with it simply because, you know, they are women.

Talking about the strange things women have said to me, this is one of my
favorites: “You remind me of my dog.” Meaning, I assume, that I walk on all
fours, have long flappy ears, and prefer to relieve myself in front of a
water hydrant. I wonder if anyone would want that kind of person as his or
her younger brother.

So, as you would have guessed by now, I am single. I am a single, nice,
helpful, generally likeable guy. Who reminds women of their dog.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a single
woman. A single woman is like Schrödinger’s cat. (For the
not-so-technically-inclined, Schrödinger was a physicist. The sadist that
he was, he used a poor little cat to teach quantum physics. He hypothesized
a cat in a box, with an arrangement such that as long as the box was
closed, the cat could be either dead or alive. But the moment you opened
the box to check, a poisonous gas would be released killing the cat
instantly — if it had been alive in the first place. For more details,
type “Schrödinger’s cat” in Google.)

Women are like that. Until you bother to find out whether they are single
or not, they could be either. But the moment you get curious… bang,
they’re single no longer. It is normally between the first and third week
of my acquaintance with a girl that I’m given this glorious piece of
information.

“Hey, I have something to tell you. I’m getting engaged next week, and I
want you to come to the party.” Ahem.

“Guess what? I’m getting married next month! Aren’t you overjoyed?” Yes, of
course. I’m so happy I have tears in my eyes.

Once, I was talking to a girl on the phone, and we were interrupted when
she got a call on the other line. She came back on line a couple of minutes
later with the words “Oh, I’m sorry about that. That was my boyfriend.”
Your what?

And you know another thing? Somehow, I inspire this unprecedented amount of
trust in women. I’m considered completely harmless! Not only by the women,
but even their boyfriends, fiancés and husbands!

“Oh, you’re with him? Fine. Have a nice time.”

“You want to take a walk on the beach? I’m a little busy. Why don’t you
take him along?”

“It’s Valentine’s day. The poor guy must be alone. Why not call him over
for lunch?”

I guess I’ve earned that reputation over a long period of time, but still,
you know. Sometimes you wish the guys would feel just a little bit
threatened.

And it’s not like I look harmless either. The following incident is a
favorite example:

I was at an Archie’s gallery. This was the time when they had that stuffed
monkey on sale. You know, the one that whistled every time you crossed its
path. The kind of whistle that a guy might make when a good-looking girl
walks by. So the monkey was on display in one of the aisles, and the first
five minutes that I was there, it must have been triggered about 15 times.
Gets quite irritating, really. After that, for a few minutes, there was no
one in the shop, and I had some peace. Then a girl walked in, and soon
crossed the path of the monkey. The monkey whistled dutifully. And out of
curiosity, with a big smile on my face for some reason, I turned to see who
the monkey had whistled at. At exactly the same moment, the girl turned
around, to see who had whistled. If looks could kill, she would have wiped
out an army. Fifteen seconds later she had left the shop. I must thank my
lucky stars she didn’t slap me, or have me beaten up by the moral brigade.
But I think you understand what I’m trying to say. Which is, that I don’t
look all that harmless. So, why the loads of trust?

They also tell me that I’m easy to talk to. That is probably why I’m one of
the first people a girl would tell her secret crushes to. None of which
ever include me, of course. But I think you must have guessed that. As you
can imagine, I attend most weddings as a friend of the girl.

But I take solace in the fact that I’m not the only one.
DISCLAIMER:NO offence intended to anyone.

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